Struggle, It Builds Character

Everyone struggles, no one is unique in this regard. To what degree everyone struggles is what makes it relative. Fleeing a war torn nation, drinking from polluted rivers, starvation, slavery and false imprisonment are all struggles that most of us will never know firsthand, thank God. Tell those people that their struggle builds character. 

Right now, a ten year old little girl struggles with hearing the words...I wish you were never born...a high school freshman struggles with being raped, but never tells anyone because she thinks it's her fault. There's a flight attendant afraid and struggling in New York because she's being beaten by her boyfriend, there's a housewife in suburbia with two babes in diapers whose husband is cheating on her and she is struggling with why, there's an exhausted woman living next door to you who regularly struggles to keep her drunken man from choking on his own vomit while he sleeps, and another stretched so thin that she struggles to decide whether to put gas in the car, or food on the table tonight.

When your life is hard, a literal living hell, character is built whether you realize it at the time or not. Alone, you travel through the storm, spirit being honed against every bad decision and consequence. The world will judge you. Let them. You can't possibly explain to anyone all the twists, turns and terrains that your road has taken. It is your miracle to be alive. It is too much for another human being to fully know you. That is for God. Use your struggles to impart wisdom to others, if they will receive it. Write it down, start a blog. Who knows what could happen? Maybe the person you're saving, is you.

Peace 


 

          

Alcohol: The Body Eating Spirit

There is, perhaps, no other beverage so insidious as alcohol. I got cold chills upon hearing the ancient origin of the word, from Arabic, Al-khul, meaning body eating spirit. It was believed that alcohol would extract the essence of the soul, leaving the body vulnerable to low frequency entities, leading to a host of questionable, sometimes immoral behavior and eventual blackout. The Body Eating Spirit and I have a long, sordid history together. She has been as much a part of my life as breath. She's been locked away going on five years now—but that doesn't stop her from rattling the cage.

I had my first drink when I was twelve. I wasn't a fan of the taste, but of the warmth that consumed my body from the inside out, I fell in love. The insecure, shy, awkward, scared, fragile little girl, the essence of my true self, was put in the corner every time I raised a glass. Drinking made me feel beautiful, sexy, confident, jovial, and free. I adopted the, it's five o'clock somewhere mentality, mostly so I wouldn't have to deal with the corner brat. Nobody liked the real me, especially me. The problem with putting your true self aside in order to be something you're not, is that those feelings of low self worth fester and grow. So, drinking eventually becomes necessary in order to avoid actually sorting through feelings.

Drinkers, tend to surround themselves with, other drinkers. That way, we don't have to admit that we have a problem with the frequency and amount of alcohol that we consume. Three out of the four major relationships I've had in my life have been with alcoholics, and the exception was an AA devotee, sober nine years when we got together. I abstained for three and a half years for him. The only other time I quit drinking entirely was when I was pregnant and breastfeeding. And now, as I mentioned, there is now.

I've had a life long relationship with this Body Eating Spirit, doing so many things of which I am not proud. I have seen lives ruined and marriages broken because of al-khul. I have finally embraced my corner brat, and we are mending many years of pain and neglect, getting to the truth of who we are and what we're doing here. Maybe this blog is the prologue for my next book. There is much to say. Perhaps that is why the cage is rattling.

To be continued.....