In-Between Days

Ahhh, my favorite time of year. Cool, crisp mornings and afternoon skies of crystal clear blue.

Unfiltered November sky

 

These are the days of in-between, no need for air conditioning and just a little heat overnight to keep the chill from settling into your bones. 

They’re the days of cozy sweatshirts and house slippers, of waking slowly with a sweet cuppa coffee in a quiet kitchen, of warming yourself in the morning sun like a turtle on a rock. These are the days nature prepares for her long winter slumber and if you are a keen observer, you will witness this magical transformation—birds and bees, chipmunks and squirrels, trees and plants, all make haste to settle in for the cold days to come. 

These in-between days don’t last long. Soon enough it will be monochrome winter days on repeat, darkness saturating the landscape, every nook and cranny covered by 4:30 pm. I look forward to the days to come. 

Deep Presence and Awareness

Subtle changes in sunlight beaming through the kitchen window this morning, created an opportunity for me to be fully present, to fully appreciate minute shifts in brightness and shadow cast as the sun was rising through the trees. My heart celebrating the perfection, wonder, gratitude and joy of the moment—a little shimmer to start the day. 

Beauty is all around us. How much of it goes unnoticed because we are so preoccupied with the phone in our hand and the daily cacophony of fear mongering spewing from it?! That is not life, in fact it is the complete opposite, it’s a slow death by a thousand cuts. 

“Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen Buddhist master, taught that mindfulness can be practiced throughout daily life, turning routine activities like washing the dishes or drinking tea into opportunities for deep presence and awareness.”

If you think doing dishes is drudgery, then it one hundred percent will be drudgery. If, while you are doing dishes, you hold gratitude in your heart for the roof over your head, for the hot water running freely from the tap, for the food you ate that made the dishes dirty, then before you know it dishes are done, kitchen is clean. Pro tip, I like to hum whilst cleaning—lots of benefits to humming! 

Present moment awareness and gratitude have fundamentally changed my life in every way for the better, and so I share my experiences hoping it will find the ones who need it. 

Be well. 

The Wolves are Howling

I believe the most important thing we need to be doing right now is protecting our energy. 

It doesn’t take an enlightened mind to look around and see all the ways we are being distracted, our attention pulled this way and that—breaking news, extreme weather, cost of living crisis, mass layoffs, finger pointing, fanaticism, fear. 

If you’re not mindful, it’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of negativity, trapped for hours in an endless doom scroll, freely giving your energy to the six inch scrying mirror in your hand.

Where focus goes, energy flows. 

You are an energetic being. A fractal of Divine Source Energy. This is the Truth you have been separated from, by design, to keep you fearful and obedient, to be good little worker bees, to be sheep. 

Put down the phone, turn off the tell-a-vision and literally go touch grass. Ground yourself, connect with Mother Earth. Recharge your battery, palms up to the sun. Speak positive affirmations into the ether. 

Reclaim your energy, stop giving it to vampires that drain you, keeping you under their power. 

Focus your energy on gratitude and present moment awareness, focus it on your connection to Source, focus on the LIGHTness of your being. Meditate. Practice this daily until it is habit and feel the energy shift, feel your reality shift.  

Look—the collective has awakened. 

We are tired of being sheep. 

Listen—we are wolves, howling. 

Days Like This

Cozy weather days are finally upon us. Overnight rainfall lingers, a damp chill, the kind that soaks deep into your bones, pairs perfectly with the low cloud ceiling, ghostly wisps of grey caressing the tree tops like a lover. 

It is a day for favorite sweaters and fuzzy slippers, for hot bevies and good books, for a crackling fire and a toasty warm blanket. It is a day for baking bread and slow simmering soup, for cat naps and dog cuddles. 

These small gratitudes help me stay present in this moment, living in the manner of which I’ve always dreamed—simple joys, peaceful mind, happy heart and an abundant life filled with infinite possibilities. There is so much magic in this moment and the entire Universe is just waiting for you to remember.

#rainydayvibes #cozysweater #sweaterweather #cozyblanket #soupweather #cozyathome #bakingbread #writerlife✎

In Losing my Libido, I Found the Truest Version of Me

I used to want

To be wanted, obsessively 

I used to want

To feel, loved 

I used to want

To be with someone 

I used to

No one prepares you for the time in your life when you slip quietly into frigidity. Not that I have an aversion to, what used to be, a very important part of my life. The desire is merely non existent. It melted away like a snow drift in Spring—slowly, gradually, until one day you no longer notice it’s there. It’s just gone. It’s a bittersweet parting of ways that opens up a whole new way of looking at life through a different lens. I’m forever grateful for all the years prior to this changing, they were not wasted.

#growingolder #growingold #growingoldgracefully #gratefulforthislife

Fk the Status Quo

The rat race, the grind, the hustle, keeping up, getting ahead, FOMO—we’ve been brainwashed into believing that if we work hard, we’ll be rewarded with a fat bag and a life full of nice things that will make us happy: the big house in the country club neighborhood, the ridiculously expensive whip, an impressive 401K, designer clothes, a gym fit body and an unrecognizable face full of toxins and fillers. That’s the dream we’ve been sold, right? Well, I call it a nightmare. I’ve had some of those things, the house, the car, the clothes, the body and I was about as far away from happy as one can be. 

Twenty some years down the road and I have never been more happy, more content or felt more at peace—Life is decluttered, simplified. Deeply connected to Source and fully present in the moment, my gratitude practice has fundamentally changed my life in every way. Life flows with more meaning, more vibrancy and more abundance.  There is an ease, an unhurried sweetness in each moment that I wouldn’t trade for anything in this world. 

Nah—you can keep your status quo. Give the Joneses my regards. You will find me in a cozy, tiny home, surrounded by mature shade trees, a babbling brook, wildlife, a cup of something warm, a cotton throw and a good book, wealthy beyond my wildest imaginings. Life, is a miracle. 

The Dream Home

Be well. 

Gratitude Practice

I’m grateful for my daughters
I’m grateful for my dog

I’m grateful for my home, my health, my job

That’s easy gratitude, that’s a constant, a given

Let’s go deeper into gratitude 

I’m grateful for my mistakes 

I’m grateful for my hardships 

I’m grateful for pain and suffering and darkness 

That’s better, flip side, but still too broad

Let’s niche down

Get really specific 

I’m grateful for the sunrise. First light, before it breaks the horizon line, when colors are still muted, waiting for rays of golden sunshine to reveal their splendor, when there is an anxious stillness preceding the imminent explosion of life all around me, when nothing is more important than greeting the day and honoring all of its potential. 

I’m grateful for dew kissed blades of grass where tiny toads shelter in July summer heat, hopping away in perfect sync and in every direction whenever the dog bounds into the yard—her nose not nearly quick enough for so many little jumpers. It’s a daily ritual that never fails to make me smile. 

I’m grateful for the beautiful owl feather I found recently, a little damp, easy to miss, but I knew instantly when I picked it up that it was special. Wispy, downy, nearly translucent, so unique in its appearance: long and wide, a base of light brownish amber with darker brown stripes and a shock of white through the center. It is magnificent and truly a gift from Uju. 

Yes. This is gratitude, life changing. 

Step into the fullness of your gratitude, this moment—indeed, you can begin right now! Practice this, every day and watch miracles unfold. 

Love Eternal

 

"Are you ready, my love?" he asked softly.

She opened her heavy lidded eyes, lashes damp against the rough cotton pillow, the hint of a smile on her lips.

"Yes," she whispered, closed her tired eyes and nodded imperceptibly.

"Then, let's go," he said, gently taking her hand. "Wait'll you see the view!"

Author's Note

I love a writer's prompt with a image. This one asked for a poem. Love, in all its forms, is poetry. This scene instantly came to mind—a husband, passed, comes to collect his beloved in her final moment. Free from their earthly confines, they take a stroll among the stars. 

I hope you enjoy. How would you interpret this picture? Drop a comment, or poem below!

These Venerable Woods

The crows’ caw at dawn drags me from my half awake haze. Just five more minutes, I whisper. As if on cue, their anisodactyl feet begin an impatient march across the roof while they wait for peanuts. 

The morning air is thick with humidity, cicadas drone from every unseen nook and cranny in these venerable woods. At night the tree frogs, crickets and katydids take the baton in this never ending symphony. Unmannered raccoons crashed the bird feeders overnight, tossing everything like a SWAT team raid on a drug kingpin’s den. Squirrels got nothin’ on raccoons. 

The wildlife here is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before in my own backyard—barred owls, a great horned owl, sharp-shinned hawks, red tailed hawks, a cormorant that shouldn’t even BE here, deer, horses, possums, raccoons, rabbits, bats, turtles, and recently, a four and a half foot rat snake that nearly gave me a heart attack when the dog found it and wanted to play. 

There’s a wildness here that walks the line of supernatural. There is a definite vibe after dark. You can hear it, feel it, sense it. Nature speaks differently here, she’s…persistent, so you must show your respect. She’s sharing her secrets with you, but she’s also watching. Life has new meaning here. 

The forest is alive, her song constant, yet ever changing. 

Mending What is Broken

I’m a feral child of cut off shorts, skinned knees and barefoot summers, of afternoons wading knee deep in icy cold creeks winding through backyard suburban forests, of doing backflips on the trampoline until my head hurt and then sunning myself like a reptile on the warmth of that black nylon, staring up through a canopy of gently swaying trees, dreaming of a boy, and what his lips might feel like pressed against mine. 

That feral girl still lives under my skin. She stands with me on Ostara watching winter’s last breath blow mighty, gusty winds through the trees. She feels every buffet and tendril of white hair that whips around my aging crown. I feel her childlike wonder of the world around me. We feel One with all that is. This is our happy place, where we feel seen, and free, and loved beyond all comprehension. Where lifelong traumas and wounds no longer exist. There is only our feet on the ground and the wind against our skin. In these moments, we mend what is broken. 

I live for windy days. 

Observance and Contemplation

Coyotes yip and howl just beyond the tree line beside the house. They are close. We all pause to listen—the dog's ears attentively perked. The sound is haunting, primal and oddly comforting somehow. Is it a territorial display, a role call or are they simply bonding in the waning light of the most recent full moon? They've been there the last two nights, so probably not celebrating downed prey—at least I hope not, there are a lot of cats around here. 

We're in a new house, surrounded on two sides by woods filled with pine trees, Leland Cyprus, redbuds, thorny locusts, Chinese privet, two huge Bradford pear trees in the back yard and a horse pasture that can be seen through the trees in the back. It is literally a little slice of heaven on earth, well, for me anyway. All this nature is a serotonin goldmine. 

A possum living in an abandoned squirrel's nest in a tree right on the fence line, peers its little face over the edge, and watches me quizzically one morning just before the sunrise. I am smitten. The corner of my eye catches movement in the trees at dusk—a spooked great horned owl just as it spreads its giant wings, silently, and lands nearby. Her, hoo-h'HOO-hoo-hoo confirming it wasn't a specter. Horses whinny in the distant pasture, sometimes I catch a glimpse of them through the break in the trees, chestnut beauties with dark brown manes. Their tails flick side to side as they amble lazily in the sublime light of golden hour. 

There are squirrels, blue jays, cardinals, sparrows, downy woodpeckers, northern flickers, bees, bats, dragonflies...and the coyotes. This place might heal me in ways I didn't know I needed healing. The energy here is quite perfect, and I am steeped in gratitude and thoughtful contemplation of what is possible. Life is so good.          

Healing Generational Trauma

Everybody here’s got a story to tell
Everybody’s been through their own hell
There’s nothing too special about getting hurt
But getting over it, that takes the work
-Duck and Cover, Song by Glen Phillips 2005

No one knows your trauma, not fully. Only you. And your tribe beyond the veil. Are you healing ancestral wounds, passed down from generations long forgotten? There’s unimaginable pain and suffering stored and stacked neatly in your double helix, waiting to be released to the Light—OR are you going to push your trauma down and keep piling onto that ancient stack, ignoring it, burying it deep, passing it on down the generational line? 

Some of us are called to task, we’re branded ‘Black Sheep’ of the family. We’re weirdo’s, troublemakers, outsiders, misfits. But we’re also intuitive, passionate, truth seeking bad asses. We feel our ancestors in our bones, hear their cries in our restless slumber, wear their strength on our weathered faces. Shadow work can make you mad. But that madness burns like underbrush, clearing the way for something beautiful to grow. 

Life is precious. Take nothing for granted. I hope you are well. And happy, wherever you are. 

#dna #generationaltrauma #generationalhealing #blacksheep #shadowwork #gratitudedaily #presentmomentliving