Entanglement

I recently added, “amateur recluse,” to a profile bio. I have zero shame in admitting that—hell, it’s been a long time coming. It just feels right with my soul. Age, gives us the benefit of hindsight, which, when lovingly sown, grows wisdom. This is the time of my life—the time I was meant to Be—everything my silent, mindful heart never dreamed of. Recluse? Well, not fully...yet, but age wears me well and I will express my gratitude for every moment passing, until she wears me, no more. Connect with Spirit. Be kind to one another. Keep Love in your hearts. Forgive yourself. Peace.

I woke up the other morning thinking about my grandmother, Nanee. She was the quintessential grandmother—her essence, unconditional love and her home the embodiment of it. Many of my best childhood memories were made there: a simple cardboard box filled with old wooden toys, vacation Bible school, cinnamon toast, a cuckoo clock striking the hour, the smell of my Pawpaw’s pipe, a tall ceramic Siamese cat perched on the hearth, bubble baths, butter beans eaten with a toothpick, an old McCoy’s cookie jar and this green communal water jug, to name a scant few. This is not THE jug, but it is the closest I could find on eBay. Everyone in the house, all the kids from the neighborhood—we all drank icy cold water from this vessel. We were a circle of hot and sweaty kids standing on cool linoleum with dirty bare feet in the light of the open fridge slugging water, smiling at each other, wiping our mouths with the back of our arms...I never saw Nanee refill it. It was always full and always ice c...

Spending less time on social media unquestionably has its perks. As a writer, the flip side of that is getting absolutely nothing done. Eh. Life is short and managing ten plus platforms is making me crazy, so I stepped away for a bit. I laughed more, took more scenic drives with the fam bam, enjoyed the art of mid-day napping, worked in the yard, played endless games of catch with our crazy canine, learned how fun Jackbox TV can be, ate ice cream for dinner—no schedule, no rules, just lived in the moment and loved every drop of joy in my cup that runneth over. This world is filled with beauty, wonder, love and kindness if that is where your focus lies. God is so good. Trust Him. Love Him. Love one another. Be grateful for right now because it's all we have. Take a deep breath, throw the rule book out, and LIVE!! Peace

Just stepped outside to check the mail. What a glorious day—sixty-six degrees, light breeze, clear blue skies and I was barefoot. The instant my feet made contact with the solar warmed driveway, I felt a sweet, simple childhood memory wash over me and breathed in the springtime perfection of my youth. Going barefoot before summer was strictly verboten, house rules about getting sick or some such nonsense. Sometimes being a latchkey kid had its perks and on a day like today, you could find me and my friends after school, playing outside barefoot until the asphalt cooled and our feet were sore. It was a great time to be alive.  

They say that one person can make a difference. Maybe that used to be true—it seems nowadays, one voice only echoes off skyscraping pillars of social media oligarchs, destined for silence no matter how high the pedestal from which it's shouted. The world is changing, and it's changing fast, faster than any other time in history, I dare say. Those who would disagree with me, I sincerely respect your opposing view and perhaps we could start a civil dialog that doesn't digress into name calling and execution in the public forum. No really, have you peeked into the thread of a sensitive topic lately?! It's brutal. I believe it's fear that drives the masses to anger, paranoia, misplaced hatred and violence. Life is too short to be wasted with that kind of behavior. Jesus said to love God and to love one another—that these were the most important commandments. We'd better start doing better. We'd better start talking to the Almighty and we'd better start liste...

I don't sleep well—haven't for years. Used to be drinking that kept me from a solid eight, now, it's anyone's guess. Last night it was Valkyrie. She was on me, not beside me, ON me most of the night—my slightest adjustment eliciting Oscar worthy groans and yawns from Her Majesty. Maybe I keep HER awake with my snoring, but no matter, there is no better way to start the day than this...stinky Frito paw in my face, fifty plus pounds of dead weight on my torso and the most expressive, expectant, soulful eyes in the Universe staring at me every morning like it's the first time. I've said it before and I'll say it again, for me, there is no better medicine for depression than our dog. She takes me out of self every day and allows me to see the world through her eyes. There is nothing but this moment for her, every single one a miracle—balls, birds, car rides, frosty paw treats—it's all pure bliss. I am so grateful for these hours, small and monumental as they...

I hope you all enjoyed your Easter weekend, however you chose to celebrate it. I spent the morning with Jesus and the afternoon cleaning out the garage—boxes upon boxes that have been stored and moved countless times and for what? I realized today, that my life is in those dirty, collapsing, brown cardboard squares—so many pictures, so many memories frozen in time that almost never see the light of day. Beach scenes, birthdays, loved ones, a wedding, growing children—all scattered and out of sequence yet they paint a picture of a seemingly happy life. I remember that life. I was miserable. I tried like hell to pretend I was normal. I was married to a successful man, had a lovely home, perfect kids, but I was lost. Lost and so lonely. You never know what demons people face, or what lengths they go to, to hide it. I will be 53 in a few weeks. I am not lost anymore. I am not lonely. I prefer quiet contemplation to casual conversation. I have gray hair and curves, and I am confident with t...