Donde Esta El Bano?

I hate it when it rains. I have two itty bitty Chihuahuas that flat out refuse to relieve themselves outside when it is raining. My female won't even leave the garage. She'll walk to the edge realize it's raining, and tuck tail all the way back to the door. If I pick her up and carry her little ass to the grass she just stands there quaking with a look that says...just shoot me. I've found that my yelling at her doesn't produce a single drop of pee either. Holding an umbrella doesn't work—she's afraid of it. My retarded little male doesn't know how to pee because he covers up her pee, so he has no clue what to do. He just runs around in circles smelling the ground for anything remotely familiar so that he can relieve his tiny little bladder. Sadly, it's quite funny, but also frustrating as hell.

I have pretty much quit trying to make them pee in the rain. I went to PetsMart and invested in those "stay at home pads" for dogs that are too old (or too stupid) to pee outside. My male, Rascal, thinks those are the best invention ever. He can finally empty his bladder and bowels without having to wait for Maya, my female. Of course, having a tiny brain means his aim is off and sometimes he pisses all over the hardwood, but at least he makes an effort. Maya will hold it...and hold it....and hold it. She goes on some kind of twisted self-destructive urination strike...I'm not peeing inside on that big square pad that you've put on the floor, it's gross...I don't like to get my feet wet, so I'm not going outside either...I'll just hold it thank you very much... I'm pretty sure she's going to die from some kind of teeny tiny bladder infection because when she finally goes, her urine is yellowish brown. That can't be a good sign.

So, it's supposed to rain for like the next three days. I hope there is a break in the clouds long enough that I can get my two little school bus dogs outside to do their business. I know that if they could speak they wouldn't ask Yo Quiero Taco Bell? They'd be asking...Donde esta el bano?