I found a gray eyebrow recently. Horrified, I plucked that sucker faster than I could ask...what the hell? Now, my hair started turning gray in my twenties, but there is a little thing called hair color that can fix that in a snap. What do you do when hair that's not on your head starts graying? Pluck it, I say. With my luck, ten more will grow in its place. I'll look like Andy Rooney in another year or two. I can't help but wonder if somewhere down the road I'll have to shave my eyebrows off and draw them back on with a pencil. That should look really attractive with the hair on my chinny chin chin...and what is up with that?! Forget my expiring eggs...where's my estrogen? I am way too young to have whiskers sprouting from my chin, but there they are all stubbly, black and manly protruding from my face. I pluck those suckers too. Pretty soon I'll have to go have them lasered because they seem to be multiplying...multiplying! Maaan, what an attractive older woman I'll be with my fuzzy gray eyebrows and goatee...no thanks.
You gotta love getting older, although, my mom looks fantastic. She hasn't had any work done and still looks amazing. I don't think she had to experience chin hair or graying eyebrows for surely she would have mentioned it to me, her only daughter. I'll probably look like a she wolf by the time I reach her age. The anti-aging gene skipped over me, I think. What else is there to look forward to I ask? Well, there's incontinence. Right now it's pretty much under control, but there have been occasions when riotous laughter has produced a stream of tinkle that can't be pinched off...can you say Kegel exercise? I'll be that woman in the commercial...gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. Just put me in a diaper for the love of god! I just hope my memory doesn't fail me, so then at least I can remember that I used to be normal. If my memory does go (Alzheimer's runs in the family) I'll be a sad, little old hairy wolf woman who smells like urine, and can't remember what day it is much less that I used to be kinda cute.
In all seriousness, I don't worry about getting older, or whatever changes my body has to undergo. I am living my life in the eternal moment of now because that is all we have. We are, each one, on our own soul journey. We are here to grow the spirit. My body is what I have it's not who I am after all.
You gotta love getting older, although, my mom looks fantastic. She hasn't had any work done and still looks amazing. I don't think she had to experience chin hair or graying eyebrows for surely she would have mentioned it to me, her only daughter. I'll probably look like a she wolf by the time I reach her age. The anti-aging gene skipped over me, I think. What else is there to look forward to I ask? Well, there's incontinence. Right now it's pretty much under control, but there have been occasions when riotous laughter has produced a stream of tinkle that can't be pinched off...can you say Kegel exercise? I'll be that woman in the commercial...gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. Just put me in a diaper for the love of god! I just hope my memory doesn't fail me, so then at least I can remember that I used to be normal. If my memory does go (Alzheimer's runs in the family) I'll be a sad, little old hairy wolf woman who smells like urine, and can't remember what day it is much less that I used to be kinda cute.
In all seriousness, I don't worry about getting older, or whatever changes my body has to undergo. I am living my life in the eternal moment of now because that is all we have. We are, each one, on our own soul journey. We are here to grow the spirit. My body is what I have it's not who I am after all.
SMH, wolf woman—hahahahahahaha.
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