Be Careful What You Wish For

When your entire life has been about your children, it's hard letting go—even (and especially in my case) if it's into the hands of their own father. This weekend families will gather 'round, eat tasty barbecue, laugh, mingle and ooohhh and aaahhh over fireworks' displays. I will spend it alone, with a glass of wine thinking back on all of the Fourth of July holidays spent in the company of those I loved.

I struggle to find my place...find myself...in this new life of my own making. Instead of freedom, confidence and a strong sense of self, suddenly I feel misunderstood, unsure and keenly aware that I don't know how to live for me. I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself for the next three days. What a wonderful gift I have been able to give my children...myself...all of me...so much so that I am incomplete without them. I am like a child learning to walk for the first time. I know I will stumble, but who will be there to pick me up, brush me off and set my feet back on the right path? Me, that's who. I chose this life, now it's up to me alone to live it. Be careful what you wish for, because good or bad, you just might get it.