Lessons

I lay in bed until the wee hours of this morning listening to my thoughts drown out the soft, rhythmic hum of the ceiling fan. I thought about my family and friends and gave thanks. I tried to picture my life six months from now...a year from now...ten. Who will I be? Where will I be? Will I be happy? Will I be successful? Will I be in love? Alone? I wondered..what lessons am I supposed to be learning right now? Patience to be sure, tolerance maybe, acceptance, or maybe I'm just learning that I have to let it all go and in doing so, some or all of what I'm looking for will find me. If it doesn't then I have to learn to be okay with that, too. I just wish I could shake this feeling that I'm waiting for my life to start. I feel like a sprinter poised at the ready waiting for the signal to start the race. Why can't I pick up my feet and get moving already? Where is my excitement, my enthusiasm, my passion? How long will this feeling last? Why do I feel unable to change it? I know all about life's ups and downs and I'm ready for the ups to come back around thank you very much! This I know for sure—it will be interesting to look back on this time in my life and see what life taught me, to see the lessons I learned.