Haiku

Original Haiku. Traditional 5-7-5, I hope you enjoy! 

winter winds exhale

one last, long, cold breath before 

giving up to spring 

the full moon, alone 

hangs low in the twilight sky 

i feel her sadness 

morning fog blankets 

a dew kissed hidden meadow 

god's beauty unseen 

face tilted skyward 

drinking in afternoon rays 

sunshine warms my soul 

aware of morning 

first light, songbirds, alarm clock 

a chance to start fresh 

hours without words 

solitude is a constant 

opportunity 

puffy white clouds float 

lazily in a blue sky, 

daydreaming again 

electricity 

tangible when you are near 

come closer, shock me 

desire, dangerous, 

unquenched it burns urgent, hot 

longing for your touch

New Haiku

This is such a great creative release for me...I hope you enjoy it. :-)

her body shivers
standing barefoot in cool rain,
letting go of him


bittersweet season,
heart's mood like the falling leaves,
dying without you


little green spider
riding a single silk thread
battles autumn winds


she wears solitude
like faded old blue denim,
comfortable friend


one by one they fall,
grief reduced to salty brine,
love just doesn't last


ladybug's flight paused,
red and black zigzag across
my white cotton tee


time, an illusion
that seems to pass more slowly
when I'm not with you

A Look Back

Let go of your past. Letting go does not mean forgetting it. It means stopping the holding on, ending the clinging to your past as if you are going to drown without it. You are drowning because of it. 

~Neale Donald Walsch

How apropos for me this morning as I sit here reflecting on my past, specifically the past year. I was packing boxes this time last year, preparing to leave a marriage and a home that had defined me for more than twelve years. I was taking a giant leap of faith that I would find happiness, love and career on the other side of forty. Where am I today?

Happy? Most days I am genuinely happy. I enjoy time spent in solitude, dreaming of all the possibilities that might be. I laugh every day and am grateful for my girls who let me be silly and who understand me on a level that is not of this earth. Happiness has not eluded me—love on the other hand...

Love? Yes, I have been able to fall in love, to find my heart still beats, still yearns, and still searches for a place to call home. I stupidly, fell head over heels for a married friend from high school and called it love. He will always have a special place in my heart and I am so glad that he is still my good friend. I love him for that. I had a dinner date with my first true love and discovered that, for me, it was like returning to your favorite warm, cozy blanket. He's still one of the best kissers I've ever known! I lost my head and my heart for a man who showed me that there are men out there who can love unconditionally, but he was not ready to make a commitment and we remain friends with mutual feelings of love and affection. I would do anything for him and I know, because he has shown me, that he would do anything for me. And...just as recently as a couple of weeks ago I was captivated by the smoothness and charm of another admirer, which caught me off guard, but I have hope, especially when he says...don't worry, you're safe with me. I think sometimes people come into our lives to remind us that we can love again, can feel again...that we can live again.

Career? Well...not yet, but I'm still working hard to make my dream of becoming a published writer a reality. I've gotten positive feedback on my manuscript and am thinking about starting another. Let the brainstorming begin! I'm gonna make it, you'll see! :-)

So, where am I today? My head is above water, thankfully. I'm not drowning because of my past, but I may have been guilty of not being able to let go. I can't move forward as long as I keep turning my head over my shoulder to see what is behind me. Consider this my last look back.

I'm going to keep working on me, eyes front, looking ahead and knowing with all that is in me, miracles await.

Breathe

Heartache is not just a word—it is an actual physical reaction. The heart aches to be near the one you love. I know because I feel it, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I wish I didn't love so deeply, but how do you fall in love just a little bit? I feel my heart beating out its rhythm in my chest and I think...it doesn't even belong to me, it belongs to someone else...captured...stolen away during an intimate moment when hearts were being shared in quiet whispers in the dark. The thing about lending your heart to another is of course, that it may be broken, so in that moment of giving, you greet your greatest fear...heart break. Almost immediately another dialog begins making you doubt whether you can afford to truly give yourself one more time. Then, somewhere in the midst of all the second guessing, the soothing godspeak in my head calms me. I let go and breathe.

Me...A Writer?

Webster's Dictionary defines writer as one that writes especially as a business or occupation. Well, occupation implies job and job implies (to me anyway) monetary compensation, which hasn't materialized for me yet—so can I, should I even be calling myself a writer? It's debatable I guess, but what is not debatable is my apparent writer's block of late. I began looking at this problem in earnest recently and came to the conclusion that I am not suffering from writer's block...no...I am suffering from indifference, and not indifference to any one thing in particular, but to everything in general. Gone is passion, excitement, joy and enthusiasm, but neither is there fear, worry, anxiety, stress or anger. There is just an emotional disconnect from life, and the funny thing about life is that it happens whether you like it or not, whether you participate in it or not, whether you write about it or not. Perhaps what I need to do is stop editing my life—just start writing about it again, blog my guts out and let the chips fall where they may. Perhaps in so doing, I might reignite the flames of desire and drive that will burn within me and one day define me as a true writer.

Star Shine

Today, I am inspired. Today I let my soul feel, imagine and be all the wonderful things that I am capable of. The Universe—is an infinite sea, with wave after wave of pure potential waiting to be collapsed upon the white pristine beaches of my reality. I am but a tiny thread in the complex tapestry that creates our cosmos, but I am no less than the brightest star that shines in the heavens, because the Divine views me through loving eyes that sees no difference, for we are all One. Know that you are not separate from that which created you...you are part of it. Love, the greatest power in the Universe, the only power really, begins within. Today, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back to the brightest star in the afternoon sky and let the wind caress my being, acknowledging the moment and all its potential.

Divine Inspiration

Frost and fog created one of the most beautiful sunrise mornings I think I've ever seen. Wispy clouds, painted with the first rays of sun were glowing indescribably pink, orange and gray. It was the kind of sky, the kind of pristine beauty that only the mind and soul can hold in its memory. My eyes often turn toward the sky. Moments of wonder, heavenly beauty and feelings of overwhelming joy can all be had by simply taking a break each day to marvel at the world God has created for our delight. Albert Einstein once said...He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed. It doesn't take a genius mind to know that, but it does take a smart person to know that peace, serenity and the feeling of oneness can all be felt by simply taking a moment to still the body and soul and just be. It is in my moments of being that I feel closest to my God. It is where I find my inspiration. How will we ever hear Him if we don't go to that quiet place and listen? Today, I am filled with more gratitude for what I have, and more love for who I am than ever before in my life—all because I felt the beauty of the sunrise.