Thank You

Every prayer begins with, thank you; a fervent offering of gratitude for all that I am and all that I have.

Thank you for my life, for my children and for this sweet, crazy dog lying next to me. Thank you for our health. Thank you for my parents and for their health. Thank you for this house. Thank you for clean sheets and a warm bed to lie in. Thank you for food in the pantry, indoor plumbing, electricity, a car that gets us to and fro and a job to pay for it all.

Thank you for birds, honey bees, sunshine and flowers. Thank you for the Earth. Thank you for the rain and for your protection during the storm. Thank you for hard times and lessons learned. Thank you for all of my happiness through the years and please bless all my family and friends, and those who are no longer my family and friends.

Thank you for laughter, love and hugs. Thank you for the gift of growing older and my able body. Thank you for my past self, my future self and my higher self. Thank you for the gift of discernment and for my relationship with you. Thank you for gut feelings, intuition, sixth sense—I know it's you.

Thank you for all of our silent conversations and the moments that make up the day. Thank you for my soul's rest tonight. Please allow this body to continue its journey of healing, from invisible atoms and the smallest cells, to my ever dry epidermis which no man made lotion can seem to relieve.

Thank you for taking care of us and always keeping us safe.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

For everything.

I love you.

Anyway, it goes something like that. What are you thankful to the Creator for today, this moment? Give pause...give thanks once, twice, three times a day. Pretty soon you will notice that you are giving thanks in every beautiful moment that you breathe, and watch, your life will change for the better.

Peace.

Start Fresh

Long before there were digital cameras and iPhones, we all took pictures with 35mm film that had to be developed at Wolf camera, or if you're really old like me, a Fotomat. Sometimes, that film would stay in the camera for months if you didn't reach the end of the roll on family vacation, so by the time it was developed, you'd forgotten what was on it. Getting those 4x6 prints was something to look forward to—to re-live your days spent at the beach with your beloved husband and two beautiful babies. *sigh*

OR, you get a crashing wave of embarrassment seeing all of the unflattering fat pictures your evil, passive aggressive, narcissist husband has taken of you. Awful eating pictures, bad bathing suit pictures, sitting pictures, like this one, each one more humiliating than the last. I was not in denial about my size, but I was genuinely happy on that trip, and it never occurred to me that my husband was doing anything other than capturing our moments, our memories, because he loved us, loved me. Boy was I naïve.

All of that, to say this. For the first time in my life, I am on a true journey to a healthier me. No gimmicks, no diets, no fads. After years of healing past emotional/mental trauma and abuse, I am ready to make my outside match my inside. I was fortunate to stumble across a young woman on social media who I resonated with. She talked about eating clean, living food—all fresh and organic, nothing processed. I made a couple of her recipes and I was hooked. I've lost 21 pounds so far this year and have never felt better.

I'm finally losing weight and healing, for me, not because I was belittled and fat shamed into taking action for somebody else. Funny how it never works that way and it never lasts, which is why he is my ex, going on thirteen years.

No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so be the best version of yourself today, this moment. Anyone can start fresh. I know that if a fat, junk food addicted, menopausal woman like me can do it, wherever and whoever you are, you can too.

Peace

Unlikely Warriors

I have a Mockingbird. He has claimed ownership of the bird feeder—militant sentry bully bird, chasing away my beautiful Cardinal couple and every other Wren, House Finch, Nuthatch and Thrasher. Can you see him? Perfectly camouflaged, he blends in with this bleak monochrome winter palate.

Our dog does her best to deter this fearless feathered foe—charging and barking, like the frontline trooper that she is...alas, her nemesis takes flight with little effort, and if it were to be measured, a sassy attitude to boot.

This battle of wills goes on, all day, every day, with no end in sight. It was all fun and games at first, but casualties are starting to mount—the sliding glass door I can’t even talk about, it’s not pretty—the lawn, or what’s left of it, remains to be seen this Spring and I don’t know how many more hits the fragile fence (or my nerves) can take.

I love my dog. I love my birds. “Warriors want a worthy opponent. There is no redress in fighting the pathetic.”―I love this life and all the crazy, daily interactions my eyes behold. What a gift it is to be here and to observe and muse over such folly!

Be well, peace.