Start Fresh

Long before there were digital cameras and iPhones, we all took pictures with 35mm film that had to be developed at Wolf camera, or if you're really old like me, a Fotomat. Sometimes, that film would stay in the camera for months if you didn't reach the end of the roll on family vacation, so by the time it was developed, you'd forgotten what was on it. Getting those 4x6 prints was something to look forward to—to re-live your days spent at the beach with your beloved husband and two beautiful babies. *sigh*

OR, you get a crashing wave of embarrassment seeing all of the unflattering fat pictures your evil, passive aggressive, narcissist husband has taken of you. Awful eating pictures, bad bathing suit pictures, sitting pictures, like this one, each one more humiliating than the last. I was not in denial about my size, but I was genuinely happy on that trip, and it never occurred to me that my husband was doing anything other than capturing our moments, our memories, because he loved us, loved me. Boy was I naïve.

All of that, to say this. For the first time in my life, I am on a true journey to a healthier me. No gimmicks, no diets, no fads. After years of healing past emotional/mental trauma and abuse, I am ready to make my outside match my inside. I was fortunate to stumble across a young woman on social media who I resonated with. She talked about eating clean, living food—all fresh and organic, nothing processed. I made a couple of her recipes and I was hooked. I've lost 21 pounds so far this year and have never felt better.

I'm finally losing weight and healing, for me, not because I was belittled and fat shamed into taking action for somebody else. Funny how it never works that way and it never lasts, which is why he is my ex, going on thirteen years.

No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so be the best version of yourself today, this moment. Anyone can start fresh. I know that if a fat, junk food addicted, menopausal woman like me can do it, wherever and whoever you are, you can too.

Peace