Naked Emotion

My life right now is so surreal. My heart is full of questions. Will closing one door open another that offers more beauty, wonder and happiness than I can imagine? Or, will closing that door leave me in the dark, alone, frightened and lost? Too many times in my life I have relied on another person to make me happy, and what I've learned, is that that is impossible. You have to be happy with yourself, and then find someone who can share in that happiness. You have to love yourself before you can ever truly love someone else. What if you didn't know that at the beginning of a relationship? What if all that knowledge and enlightenment came later? Would you still look at your loved one through the same eyes? Would you slowly, maybe even subconsciously reel your heart back in because the one you gave it to so willingly, so long ago, had forgotten to tender it? What do you do when you feel you have no more love to give? The hardest thing you ever have to do in this world is tell someone that you want your heart back. The danger of being able to feel your heart again are the waves of emotion that overwhelm your very soul—pain, sorrow, guilt, regret, resentment, anger, confusion, but also fondness, gratitude, appreciation, and yes...love. Vivid memories of a life together are bittersweet. You know you would not be who you are today without having had the experience. The door is open. You look forward across the threshold into uncertainty and a vast sea of possibility hoping the sunlight is there to brighten your days once again.